Dinner Planning Made Easy

Is there any question more dreaded than "What's for dinner?"

The one thing I hate more than thinking about what's for dinner every night, is making multiple trips to the grocery store during the week. I try real hard to make that trip a one stop shop which means that a little planning is in order, so every Sunday I sit down and think about what we have going on that week and what healthy meals I will make for the family. A couple of weeks ago I realized I spend way too much time on this task and I don't really enjoy it.

Since I have been on a mission to simplify my life, to find the things, commitments, obligations, etc. that I spend way too much time and energy on with little to no payback for me (either in the karma or joy department), it was only a matter of time before I tackled dinner.

Where was the time suck? Well, I had to think about what I could make, go through recipes I pulled or pinned, and try to remember what we had in the last few weeks so I didn't do a repeat. Then I had to think about how much time things would take to make because on some nights I didn't have as much time as other nights. 

What I often failed to plan for were the nights that I strayed from the menu because I was too tired or didn't feel like spending that much time in the kitchen, so we made sandwiches or breakfast tacos for dinner then I later guiltily threw out the food that I bought for those abandoned recipes.

Then I had to face a hard truth. I am not Julia Child. I do not derive joy from tinkering in the kitchen. That is not my thing. It is, however, one of those things that I wish I liked doing. I wish I was that Mom who whipped up new and delicious things in the kitchen and loved it, but I'm not.

Was my family putting pressure on me to come up with new and exciting meals? No, I mean clearly they were living on sandwiches and breakfast tacos more than fantasy me would like to admit, so this perception of who I "should" be was a weight I chose to carry all on my own, and it was time to put it down and stop worrying about what I thought other people might think of fantasy super mom me. 

Lighter, brighter, real me was ready to simplify this whole process, the menu planning, grocery shopping, and food prep.

First, I made a list of all the things that I know we liked and that were mostly healthy. The list ended up being a mix of things that were super quick and simple, and ones that were more labor intensive.

Second, I categorized them into the following categories:

Pasta/Italian
Asian
Mexican/Tacos
Soups/Salads
Bowls (these are things like Buddah Bowls, rice and beans,Shrimp, greens, polenta,  - a mix of food that I put into a bowl that doesn't go into the other categories)
Burgers/Sandwiches
Casseroles/Other
In case of Emergencies (quick sandwiches and cereal) Emergencies have included my husband not being home for dinner, so just me and the kids, and me wanting to finish a book I was almost done with. Fantasy Mom felt guilty, I didn't.

You can make up any categories you like. This is how I like to mix it up so I don't feel like I am making and eating the same things over and over, but you can do anything that makes sense to you.

Some other ideas:

Things that take 15 minutes or less to make
Freezer meals (things you pre-made and froze and are ready to cook)
Instapot/Crockpot dinners
Casserole Sundays
Meatless Mondays
Taco Tuesdays
Friday Make your own pizza night
Chicken Dinners
One Pot Dinners

Whatever works for you. The idea being that on Sunday or whenever you plan you trip to the store you zip down your list, and pick your 7 meals for that week.

After I put all my favorite things down into the list I realized I had way more dinners than I realized (50+ different meals), and that I didn't make my favorites as often as I would like because I was too busy trying new things.

I also realized everything went faster because I was familiar with those recipes, so I knew what I needed to buy, and what I already had on hand. Also, I could tweek things here and there as necessary if I wanted to mix it up or if I simply forgot to pick something up at the store.

I didn't have to think about what we had last week because it was all there on the list.

One thing that has also helped speed things up - the Alexa app. Alexa has a shopping list feature and when we run out of a staple like olive oil or chocolate chips, whoever uses it up adds it to the list and I check the Alexa shopping list before my store run, but if I forget the Alexa app with shopping list is on my phone. The family has been much better at keeping up with this then they were about physically writing it on the shopping list.

I also created a menu and shopping list in Evernote and have it on my phone, so I always have my list with me, and it is organized in categories as well.

My meal planning and grocery list making takes 5 minutes now. My grocery store trip in done in 30 minutes. I spend zero time during the week thinking about dinner while not actually making dinner which leaves more time on things I do enjoy, like reading, which means less chance for emergency cereal while I squeeze in that last chapter (or maybe not, I'm improved, not perfect.)

2019: Resolving to Be More Intentional Starts with Being Less Busy and Here Is the Plan

It all keeps coming back to my circle of influence. What can I do with what I have to work with?

But, if I have too much, then I'm paralyzed and do nothing.

I love reading the Little House books. I read them every year or two and have done so since I was 8. They have gotten me through more than one down period in my life. I think it's the atmosphere of home and family that I love and maybe the cozy factor. Here is a family that really had very little, yet lived large. I want that. I want simple baked bread, red and white checked tablecloths. Warm light and family reading, knitting, being together.

Simple doesn't mean easy. In fact, what is simple is sometimes the hardest thing. Having nothing to distract you from you. That's hard. Nothing to hide behind when you turn a blind eye to what you should do, your values, your dreams.

So this year my one little word is simplify. Simplify excuses, simplify stuff, simplify relationships, simplify distractions and obligations that don't support me and what is most important to me.

At the end of the day, I figure it comes down to Me, my Relationships, my Work and my Legacy.

Me. Meaning this is the body and mind I have. Simplify until I can get down to the essence of me. If I strip away all the stuff and the labels, who am I? What do I stand for? How do I want to spend my precious time? What do I need from my body and mind to support these things? What things do I want to keep that bring me joy? What's simply a distraction and not worthy of my time and energy any longer and keeps me from being an even better version of me?

Relationships. Relationships are what keeps you living longer and happier. Study after study proves that the bonds you form with others and the quality of your friendships are the secret to a life without regrets, one of meaning and happiness. Yet, we continue to be too busy, trading virtual time for real face to face time.

It is really hard to grow good quality relationships if you don't nourish them. How often am I "too busy" to spend time with my friends, my family, my children or spouse? And what am I busy doing? Looking at my phone or some other mindless triviality? Am I too busy running errands? Cleaning stuff I don't even like or need?

Are these things really more important than meeting a friend for lunch or coffee, or taking the kids to the park or for ice cream or simply giving someone your undivided attention for 5 minutes? It doesn't have to be a lot of time, but it has to be quality time. So, simplify until I am down to the stuff that really is more important than the most important people in my life (I'm thinking it will be a small list).

Work. How do I spend my time and energy? How do I use my strengths and talents? It is in serving something larger than yourself that you feel most connected and alive.....happy. It is up to me to find my meaning, or my "why" in what I do and how I spend my time. What makes me feel good about how I spend my time and what doesn't?

Working in a traditional environment (for a paycheck) doesn't jive with what my family's goals are right now, so how can I feel like I still contribute in some meaningful way? How can I still use my brain for a greater purpose than laundry and schlepping my kids around (although there will certainly still be that, but maybe I can simplify it to less....)?

One way is this blog. I get to learn stuff, try stuff, connect with and learn from others.

Second is volunteer time spent with people I enjoy, doing work I enjoy for a cause I believe in. I need these three things to be present for it to be worth my energy and time.

Third is my home work. Since I do stay home, the primary care of the home falls to me, and it's a job I haven't always relished, I'll tell you that. This year though, I making a mindset shift a little. Taking care of it is taking care of my family. Providing us sanctuary and a place to come together, to share, to live. Perhaps there will be a marketing plan implemented around the house to remind my customers of that (I didn't say simplifying would lead to me being a saint and above a good guilt trip).

However, I don't want to spend my whole day cleaning and cooking, and getting in the way of the other important things, so how do I simplify?

My legacy. What do I want people say about me at my funeral? What do I want to leave my kids, as in what values, what awareness, what skills, what memories?

I figure every day is an opportunity for me to touch someone in some positive way. To help someone. It can be something as simple as a smile, holding a door, an unsolicited compliment that I think in my head, but don't say out loud, or my patience when I feel anything but patient with the flustered barista making my coffee. Also, I tend to collect bits of information, so maybe it is passing on one of these bits to someone who needs it, be it a great bra, a good doctor, an easy dinner, a good book, a possible business or friend connection.

Bottom line, how can I help someone today? Well, I can't if my life is so busy I don't look or see ways to be helpful.

My legacy may also be what I don't leave - a bigger carbon footprint than is necessary. What that looks like, I don't know yet. How far I am willing to go in trading modern convenience for a larger carbon footprint remains to be seen.

So those are the 4 areas that I figure are the most important to me right now. How or what it looks like, I am not quite sure yet. Those are pretty big areas, and I figure the best place to start is by simplifying. Taking away stuff that takes up my time until I am left with just truth, time and space to make meaningful decisions, to figure it out.

Maybe peace of mind won't be baking bread and knitting by candle light, and maybe it will be, but I won't know until I stop being so damn busy to find out.

It started with saving turtles

The following is a true story about turtles. Maybe you don't care about turtles, and that is okay. Turtles aren't the point. This is a story about starting something small, and watching it turn into something bigger.

Turtles

This sense of drowning in too much has been weighing on me lately, so I have been looking for ways to simplify my life. I find I no longer have the patience to keep up with so much stuff, so I have been reading a lot about simplifying, and that lead to reading about the affects of so much stuff on the planet.

While I want to do more for the planet, I have to admit, I have put off doing much because I like convenience. I like easy, and being more "green" seems like so much work. Work I haven't been really ready to tackle yet. Plus, how much will whatever I do really matter anyway in the grand scheme of things?

So change was slow because I hadn't committed to anything yet. Until the turtles.

I read this article about floating piles of garbage. My son has lamented on it at dinner before, saying how they are huge islands of plastic garbage floating around in the oceans, but honestly, I didn't get it. I mean, he was10 at that time. A rock in a lake big enough for him to sit on is an "island".

These islands are no joke. If you combine all the plastic islands in the Pacific Ocean alone guess how big it is? 5,800,000 square miles. That is twice the size of Texas and nearly 9 feet deep. 8,000,000 million tons of plastic ends up in our oceans each year. The average American discards 185 pounds of plastic annually. 300,000,000 tons of plastic is produced annually. These are huge numbers.

What about recycling you say? Only 5% of post consumer plastic is recycled in the United States each year.

The islands are formed from micro-plastic particles that have degraded overtime and those particles mix with the plastic trash like water bottles, and even things like shoes, fishing nets, and computer monitors. Those things find their way to massive circular currents and a trash island is born. Birds, fish, marine mammals, and turtles, ingest the plastic particles and trash, or get stuck in the refuse.

Following this article I stumbled upon, we took our annual trip to the beach, where my kids discovered that turtles are dying because of plastic straws up their nose and mistaking plastic bags for jelly fish.

That beach trip was the last time the kids have used a plastic straw.  It's been roughly 3 months and no straws eating out, or at Starbucks or anywhere. None. They haven't cracked once, and my daughter has sworn off all things glitter (for a 9 year old girl, this is a major commitment. Not that we took the drastic measure of throwing away current glitter outfits, but no new glitter garments or crafts).

Yet, I was slow to join the cause, and, I may have said out loud something to the effect of what can one person do? To which the reply was something like it has to start with one person. Out of the mouths of babes, right?

So, what can I do? I can stop buying glitter or things with glitter (huge environmental problem). I can stop using straws, and I can stop using plastic bags.

Ahh, the plastic bags. Saving turtles lines up with one of my other peeves. Plastic bags.

My conscious won't allow me to throw them in the trash, so I keep them then take them back to the store to put in that bag recycle bin. Only I forget, then I have this huge mountain of bags I schlep to the grocery store, and spend way more time than I want stuffing them in that bin. I hate it. My hate is strong for this task, so the turtles and I share the same goal here. Plus, saying I am saving turtles sounds way cooler (and more sane) than erupting in a scorching rant about being too lazy to recycle plastic bags.

I take re-usuable bags to the grocery store already, but I hadn't to other stores. Like when I only buy batteries I still get a plastic bag, even though it will fit in my purse. I don't even think about it, I just blindly accept the bag.

Once I started noticing, I decided to try out not using a bag. What would I say? Would they look at me like a weirdo? Wouldn't it be simpler to just take the damn bag? How many times have I wanted to say 'no bag', but forgot? What was going to keep me on track with this this time?

I came up with two solutions. One, I keep a fold up bag in my purse foldable re-usable, washable bags). This is a set of 4 for $13.99 and they are super cute.

And we use these reusable straws which are stainless steel, but here are super cute and colorful silicon ones available as well.


The second solution to not wanting to look like a weirdo and staying committed...that was harder. I decided to tell my kids what I wanted to do and why (to save the cute little turtles). You better believe they have no problem reminding me at the check out to not take a bag.

They also have no fear of looking like a weirdo if it will save a turtle, and no one looks at them weirdly, instead they say, "Awww, isn't that cute."

When they are not with me, they are like these little angels on my shoulder reminding me to remember not to take the bag. Save the turtles.  (Okay, plus they look for plastic bags and act like two tiny devils if they see one in the house, equally effective).

Desire alone isn't enough. My pain with plastic bags alone is not enough to make a change. You need find a big enough reason to make any change, and re-enforce it with accountability (aka a big dose of guilt from my kids and a desire not to disappoint them. Oh, and to save the turtles, of course.)

Just as an aside, I haven't gotten one weird reaction at all by skipping the bag. I don't have to say I am saving turtles or some other lengthy explanation for my weirdness. I just say, "I don't need a bag. Thanks."

So, will I change the world? Will I get rid of floating garbage islands with this one change? Of course not, but sometimes all it takes is that one weirdo to make something not so weird, and if enough weirdos join me, that positive change spreads. It becomes normalized, and we slowly produce change in the world.  Worst case scenario, it's only my family, and we still are doing something, and that is better than nothing.

I'm confident in swaying other weirdos to join me though. My husband has jumped in on the no straw bandwagon, and now his co-workers do it too. The other day, I said, "No thanks, I don't need a bag," for my one item purchased. As I was putting my wallet away and leaving, I heard the person behind me say, "I don't need a bag either." Weirdness spreading. My heart felt lighter, I felt more energetic, and I felt connected with a total stranger in this one little thing.

The point is, this isn't just about turtles. Although I hope from reading this I have convinced you to reduce your plastic consumption even if just a little, but the bigger picture here is that there are things in our life that we want to take on, but we are afraid. Maybe we are afraid that it will be too difficult. Maybe we are afraid that we will fail. Maybe we are afraid that we will try it and not like it. Maybe it all seems like such a huge undertaking, and we are just too lazy to tackle it, and we are afraid to admit that we are too lazy.

First you find a strong enough reason to take the first step, your "why". For me, it was supporting my kids to be the good, kind and caring people I say I want them to be (not really the turtles, even though they are super cute).

Second, you take the tiniest first step you can imagine. If you take the first step, it helps you to build the momentum to take the next, and the next, whether it be for the good of the environment or for your own good in your own little world. Tiny steps make big changes, and we just might save those turtles yet.

Productivity Tips and Tricks for Every Personality

First and foremost, you need to figure out what your most important thing to do is.  In order to do this, you have to get in touch with what is most important to you. What are your values? What are your goals? To find your dream job? Lose weight? Find more balance in your life? Get promoted at work? Spend more time with your kids? Find a new house? Make more friends? What lights your fire right now? 

Once you have some of those ideas in mind you can employ these tips to make sure what you do lines up with what you say you want to do.  In other words, turn your wish list into an action list.

How to Make Sure Your Time is Spent on Achieving Your Most Important Goals

Sometimes we get confused as to what is truly important, and we let other's goals, wishes, and emergencies take over our time.  These tips will help you take back your time (and your life).   

Tip #1 Decide What is Important versus Urgent 

It helps to put things in these 4 categories:

• Urgent and Important
• Important, but not Urgent
• Urgent, but not Important
• Not Urgent, and not Important

Urgent and important items will obviously make it to the top of the list.  For instance, if your dishwasher is leaking all over your kitchen floor, this constitutes an urgent and important problem, and you will cancel meetings, and put everyone and everything else on hold to get this taken care of.

Important, but not urgent might be something like buying a baby gift for your best friend or finishing the family photo album (assuming these things line up with your values and goals).

Urgent, but not important is when your kid is frantic in the morning because he forgot to pack his lunch. Not important because buying lunch won't kill him (despite what he might say about it), or it's when someone else wants you to drop everything to deal with their urgent and important (or just urgent) task. Remember, just because something is urgent to someone else, doesn't mean that it needs to be urgent for you. I'm not totally unfeeling. If you want to be available for others emergencies, have "office hours" for that.  More abut that below.

Not Urgent and not important. These are the things we get sucked into doing like attending your mother's cousins' baby shower or dusting the back of the bookshelf (buy enough books to hide the dust). These are things, you can probably just let go and it will not be the end of the world.  These are the things you need to quit. For more info on how to quit click here: Be a Quitter

Tip #2 Write down the one thing you need to do today

I know, I know, so many things so little time. How can you pick just one? Imagine you only have enough energy to get one thing done today.  What would it be?

To do this, we need to soften our expectations of ourselves.  This sounds like slacking, I know, but bear with me. Do you have kids? A significant other? Are they important to you? Look at your to do list, and tell me if you have one thing on there that screams, "These people are my life". We have laundry and dinners to make, etc. on this list, and those are important, but if this were your last day, how would you spend it? I would stop by subway, or grab a box of cereal, and take my kids to the park and enjoy them. I would make time to go out with my girlfriends. When is the last time you did that stuff? If you doubt me, click what people who were dying regretted the most:

I get you can't do this everyday, but the thing is, we keep putting these things into the "not important, not urgent" pile, and not important, not urgent things eventually don't get done, and now you are sad because you have no friends.

Your one thing doesn't have to be the same thing everyday (we aren't one dimensional after all),  unless you are laser focused on getting something done, then by all means set aside time each day to complete that goal.

What is important to you, right now? Put that as your most important thing on your list.

Tip #3 Because I know you really won't put one thing on your list. Time line your day. 

Raise your hand if you always think you have more time than you actually do, and then kick yourself for not getting the stuff done that you feel like you should have gotten done.  Time blocking out your day will really help you, not only be more productive, but also realize you physically can't get it all done. It is not your failure, it is a failure of time.

Make a list of all the stuff you need to do this week. I make a dump list on Sunday of all the stuff I can think of that I need to do, then I prioritize it, and assign the most important items to certain days.  Some people make one big list, but I like to divide it up into categories, like housework, work, family stuff, projects, me time, etc.

The list is usually overwhelming, so divvying it up into the categories mentioned in Tip #1 is helpful, and finding that one thing a day to work on is powerful.  However, to get all that stuff done, I would need many lifetimes.  Here is one way to pare down your master list:  How to Get Sh*t Done

Step 2, after paring down your list is to Time Block.

Time Blocking

Time blocking works great for the over-scheduler because you can schedule out what you need to do and how long it will take.

Start by making a simple time line.  I just draw a vertical line in my planner and start when I get up and number down to when I am free of children.  Like this:

Nothing fancy at all.  However, very eye opening.  Once I put in the stuff that I have to do, like appointments, and school pick up, I quickly realize that I do not have a whole heck of a lot of time.  Don't forget you need to eat and shower at some point.

This lack of time is why you put in your most important thing.  The thing that will have the biggest impact to your goals, be it career, family or otherwise.  My current project is scheduled at 1:00 PM. For an hour I will work on that project.

Now that your biggest impact thing is scheduled, you can write in the stuff that is your second and third most important.  When I say "schedule", I mean write it in your planner in ink or put it on your calendar and set an alarm.

I work mostly from home part time, so I dedicate one block of time to that each day, then a house item each day, and then some time to catch up on random stuff that pops up.

Recently I have been devoting a bigger block of time one day a week for projects (Monday, I spent 6 hours on the laundry room, and it was so worth it), but that is for a special projects, and definitely not something I can do every week. I am planning a road trip so I blocked out 2 hours one day this week and an hour on another day to focus on planning that.

Set the length of the time blocks that works best for you.  Some swear by the Pomodora technique of 25 minutes focused, 5 minute break. If you are really procrastinating, set a timer for 15 minutes and race against the clock (make it a game, especially helpful for mundane household tasks). For stuff I want to do, I can focus for long periods of time, and I don't like being interrupted once I am in the zone, so for certain tasks, I go for 90 minutes. If it's stuff I don't enjoy, but must get done, then I race against a short timer. Experiment and see what works for you.

Speaking of the no fun mundane tasks that are part of life. Use "Buffer Blocks"

These are blocks of time to do those recurring routine tasks like email, regular mail, paperwork, or other random time-suck tasks (Facebook, Pinterest, cleaning the house house may fall into this category).

Set aside a couple blocks of time each day to tackle those. Do not devote time to them outside of their block. How does this help? "Oh, you sent me an urgent email that needed answering right away? I'm sorry, I only check my email at 9:00 AM and at 3:00 PM."

If you are afraid you will forget something, take 10 seconds to jot it down on your to do list. If you want to look at Instagram, but find yourself getting lost there, set your phone timer.  A mom I know grabs her mail on the way to her kids ballet class and sorts through it there. An excellent use of down time twice a week.

Do you find it hard to say "no" to people? 

Set yourself up so you don't have to say no. Blocking out time proactively trains people when you will (or won't) be available, and you don't have to say "no", and they are happier too. Instead of telling people what you can't do (which no one likes), you get to say what you can do. (Win-win).

For example, I volunteer as a treasurer at my kids' school. I have scheduled two days a week where I will work on that. Previously, the position would just do it when anyone had a need (or didn't plan and waited until the last minute.) At the beginning of the year, I shared my schedule for when I would be working with all my "customers", so now they know what to expect and I don't have to answer requests or give status updates constantly. I have only had two "emergencies" all year.

Time blocking is not only a useful tool for you, but it also is helpful for others because they know what to expect from you and when. This leads me to the concept of batching.

Batching

Batching is grouping similar tasks together.  Like running errands, grocery shopping, and it can aslo apply to work tasks. Maybe you call all your clients on one day, review proposals on another.  Some people batch housework, dusting, even cooking, packing lunches or snacks for the week or laundry (I'm trying this batching laundry thing today, but I think I prefer one load a day. What works for one person might not work for another.)

The point is, start looking for similar things and see if you can't batch them together in one of your time blocks.

What About Multitasking? 

Some advice says to never do this.  It takes a long time to for your brain to switch back and forth between tasks. I say, never say never, but know your limits.

Some of us just can't multitask well.  My husband is one of them (women do multitask better than men, in general). He will stop talking to me in the car to put on his turn signal and turn, then resume the conversation. That's where we are.

However, if you are doing a mundane task that does not require you to pay close attention, then I say multitask away.  I think you can handle folding laundry and watching TV or prepping veggies and listening to a Podcast, music, or an audiobook.

I will say, though, that practicing mindfulness on mundane tasks can put you into a meditative state, and give you the same benefits as meditation.  Consider that multitasking, for example, meditating and washing dishes.

When you really focus on what you are doing, it does give your brain a rest.  Sort of like a brain nap, and who couldn't use more of those? (Plus, I notice the kitchen is strangely empty when I am in there washing up, so it's also very peaceful.)

Other Tips I Came Across for Increasing Productivity that You Can Experiment with:

• Stick to a schedule
• Become an early riser
• Make a drink before you start (I mean coffee or tea, but hey, whatever works for you)
• Clean your desk off or your workspace
• Set yourself up for success by making it easy for you to do what you have been putting off. Lately, I have been decluttering. So, I have a box in a couple of rooms, and as I pass through I put something in the box. Baby steps. Set yourself up for success. If you want to eat breakfast int he morning, get as much as you can ready the night before. Work out, set your shoes where you will trip over them on the morning (not really, but you get the idea). Keep cleaner in every bathroom or room.
• Snacks, chewing gum, sunshine, smelling lemon and/or peppermint, having a plant in your workspace all help boost productivity.
• Silence your phone
• Get dressed in the morning and ready for your day even if you aren't leaving your house.
• Know when you are at your peak and do your most important tasks then (morning or afternoon?)
• Get enough rest.  I've talked about the value of sleep before, but if you need some incentive, click here: THIS ONE THING CAN CAUSE SADNESS, HEADACHES, FORGETFULNESS AND OTHER WOES
• Use one tool. Admittedly, I use two, the iCalendar and a bullet journal, but you shouldn't  have sticky notes strewn about and call it a system. 

The most important tip I can offer under the happiness banner, is make time for friends and family. People often regret working too much, and always wish for more time with loved ones.  At the end of the day, it's all about balance.

If I missed a great tip you use, share it with the rest of us in the comments below!!

Be a Quitter to Get More Done

I've read A LOT of productivity articles in the past month to find the best ones out there, and there are many different tips, tricks, and opinions to help you get more done.

Advice ranging from how to multitask to get more done to the dangers of multitasking. What should be on your To Do list, and how to prioritize your to do list? Should that list be a mile long "Dump" list or should it only have one thing, the most important thing, on it? What is the perfect planning system for keeping track of your progress (or lack thereof).

Also, what is the proper order to tackle your list?  Should you eat the figurative frog first (your most dreaded task), or knock out some easy wins to gain momentum? Not to mention tons of advice on how to prioritize your list (categories, urgency, etc.) What is the perfect planner and what's the best way to use it.

Then there is advice on how to best get you ready to be productive. Is coffee, exercise, and a clean desk essential to get started? Should you use the Batch system, Pomodora technique or the Time Block system? All of this to help you work smarter, not harder so that you can even get more done.

I kind of take offense to this notion. I am smart, and I do work hard. Could a little productivity hack here and there help? Could I stand to spend less time on my phone? Would avoiding people help me get more done? Sure. Does the answer to all my problems lie in re-organizing, re-categorizing, re-prioritizing, multitasking or throwing away my task lis? Should I clean my shower while I am in the shower to save time (actual suggestion)? I don't think so.

The truth is, you can do whatever you want, but you can't do everything you want.  No matter what these systems are selling, you cannot make more time, and you can't predict when it will run out.

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it."  

 - Henry David Thoreau 

You are exchanging your life, giving a bit of your soul away if you will, for time spent doing whatever it is you fill your minutes up with.

Life is full of tradeoffs. There is a price to be paid for what you choose to do, and you can't make an informed decision on that cost until you embrace this notion of limited time.

But we don't. Instead we are bound and determined to fit it all in.  I will be über successful at work. I will be Supermom and be there for everything my child does. I will be a great spouse. I will volunteer in my community. I will pursue my secret dream of writing the great American novel (or whatever it is you dream of doing). I will take care of my aging parents all by myself because I am the perfect daughter.  I will exercise, eat right, and get regular facials, and have "me time". I will do it all.

Honestly, I am stressed just writing all of this. My shoulders are tense, and I feel a little anxious. Anxious because I know deep down inside, this is an impossible scenario to maintain, so I end up faking it. Stressing about being found out that I am not a Mom with her shit all together (spoiler alert, I'm not), and EVERYONE gets short changed. My family, my friends, my career, my volunteer work, ME,........everyone.

There is an economic term called Opportunity Cost. Opportunity cost describes the relationship between scarcity and choice. It refers to the benefit you could have received, but gave up to take another course of action.  No choice is still a choice.  Often we spread ourselves so thin that we don't reap the benefits of any of your choices. So what's the answer?

Be a quitter.

That's right. Quit.

Don't double down, reach down, or show more grit.

Quit.

The answer isn't add more items to your list. The answer is to get rid of items on your list.

Quit unproductive things so you don't miss opportunities to do more of what matters to you. Maybe you don't know what is important to you right now. Well, you damn sure know what doesn't work, so quit those things, so you can start finding what might work.

We regret more of what we miss out on than what we stuck it out on.

The relationship we knew in our heart wasn't for us, but we stuck it out waay too long anyway. The job that wasn't a fit for us, but we stayed because we were afraid to go out and find a better job (by the way, people who change jobs a lot and early in their career end up making more money than their counterparts that stayed with the same company).

We tell ourselves that "it isn't that bad" DO you want to settle for "not that bad"? That stinks of future regret.

Quit trying to achieve unattainable goals, whether it be jobs, obligations or people.

Yeah, I get you can't just dump everything. You can't walk out on your job. Well, make it a priority on your 'To Do' list to find your dream job. How much of your sacred time are you spending on that?

I get you want to exercise more so you can improve your health, and have the energy to pursue your goals.  What are you sacrificing to make it a priority?

When you stay late at work to finish that project to impress your boss or clients or find a cure for cancer, then you are not spending time with your kids.  That's not a judgment call. That's reality.

Things get sticky when we assign value or more accurately what we believe other people will value to our choices. I'm a terrible mother if I make this choice. I'm a terrible employee if I don't. My parents dreamed of me becoming a lawyer so I'll stick it out, so we try to do it all.

Before you can be more productive, you need to decide where your values or needs lie right now, so you can make intelligent proactive choices for your situation.

Maybe your it's your career, writing that book and self-publishing, becoming a yoga teacher, or starting your own business, or your family, or redecorating your house that's important to you, or a combination of two or three things, so design your days to do those things.  Make sure that most of what you do supports achieving those goals.

If you are really giving your all to those two things because you say those two things are the most important to you, then you won't have time to bake, volunteer, clean, take care of other people's emergencies, etc., all by yourself.  Not to say that stuff isn't important, but again...Time + Scarcity = Choices.  Remember, choices will be made with or without you, so you might as make them.

Where do you start / How Do you Decide? 

Steve Jobs said, "If today were the last day of your life, would you want to be doing what your doing?" 

If he answered "no" more than a few days in a row, then he changed what he was doing.  

There will be times when you choose to do something else.  There will be needs that need to be met that exist outside of your wants and needs because you don't live in your own little universe.  

There are trade-offs to every decision. Some you will manage, and some you just have to live with because that is the price of your dreams or values or your situation right now.

I chose to quit my job when my youngest started kindergarten. I left a promising and mostly fulfilling career with a killer commute to do so. I traded putting my graduate degree to work, and moving up in my career because I couldn't manage to that and be the Mom I wanted to be the way I wanted to.  

Yet, when I find myself cleaning, and then yelling about them messing things up, and checking off my never ending list of household chores, then I am not "being" with my kids. I am trading unimportant stuff for what I said was important.  Now there will be moments when I will need to do laundry and clean the house, and I will not be able to answer Steve Job's question in the affirmative, because the need for clean underwear and all, and that's okay as long as it doesn't become my choice day in and day out.  

Some people pick their top one or two goals in life and go all out. Michale Phelps gave up a lot of other stuff to become the champion that he became. He gave up partying with friends for 5 AM practices as a teen. Sheryl Sandberg put in a lot of time and effort to get where she is. She had to quit and delegate a whole hell of a lot in her personal domain to make it where she is today. They both made choices.  

I choose to strive for balance in my life right now. Some might even go so far as to say mediocrity, and that is okay. Maybe that isn't for them, but I define success as peaceful, low stress, enjoyable, simple balance between my children, my family, my friends, and my hobbies. That is where I am right now. 

So I won't be VP of HR at a Fortune 500 Company like I once thought I would (maybe later), and I do sometimes look enviously at those sharp dressed working moms getting it done like a boss. 

On the other hand, I started a new career that I can build at my own pace. I have built friendships with some awesome moms I wouldn't have even have met had I still been working, and let go of some treasured work ones I just couldn't keep up. Trade-offs. One day my choices will change again, but won't change, is that I will choose what those priorities are rather than letting others have more say than they should or by default.

Really successful people quit most other things. You need to decide how you define success for you and your lifestyle right now, then quit the other things.  

Once you do that, you can apply all the tips, tools and tricks that work for you, and you will find much more success with them.

Other articles you might like:

Is Comparing Yourself to Others Always a Bad Thing?

Redefining Failure

The Power of Living Intentionally

Join the 85% Club

I've Had Enough

How to Live a Life with No Regrets

Three Types of Happiness

How to Get Shit Done

How Simple Routines Can Transform Your Life (Even If You Hate Routines)

What is a Routine?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary a routine is a habitual mechanical performance of an established procedure.  Snoooozzzzeefest, right?  Maybe, but bear with me while we talk about why you need this in your life, and when it’s good to shake things up in your routines. 

Why Do You Need Routines?

Routines are essentially a string of habits that you intentionally bring into your life.  They provide structure and many good habits strung together leads to less stress and over time, transformational change.  If you have ever found yourself saying, “I wish I …." at some point during the day the a routine can help you. "I wish I..."

How to Get Shit Done

Nagging Tasks.  They are tasks that you "should" do, but aren't urgent so you keep putting them off because it just seems like soooo much effort to just do it.  I would wager that most of the things on our long "To Do" list are nagging tasks.

Things like fixing the caulk around your sink, changing that burnt out light bulb (or light bulbs) or the air filter, finally putting your kids' school pictures in the frame, and dare I say actually hang them on the wall?  It's things like sewing that button back on your favorite shirt (oh, heck with it, it's been five years), cleaning up the pictures on your phone and creating a nice family photo album, or making those recipes you've been saving on Pinterest.  Nagging tasks also could be all those projects that you started and have yet to actually finish.